Yours is a literal interpretation of the form promulgated by the sluggish elementary teachers of your youth, not in tune to the true essence of haiku which keeps in mind simplicity and rhythm (i.e. seventeen syllables in Japanese [due to the multi-syllabic-ness of the language] delivers, on average, about the equivalent of eleven English syllables).
3 comments:
3-5-3 is wrong
5-7-5 is haiku
no dessert for you
Yours is a literal interpretation of the form promulgated by the sluggish elementary teachers of your youth, not in tune to the true essence of haiku which keeps in mind simplicity and rhythm (i.e. seventeen syllables in Japanese [due to the multi-syllabic-ness of the language] delivers, on average, about the equivalent of eleven English syllables).
Always the rebel.
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